Inspiration or Copycat?

One of my biggest learning curves about boundaries as a wisdomkeeper, teacher and mentor came from a big betrayal from one of my very first students. It’s not something I talk about, because quite honestly the way things ended was a traumatic experience. Nothing dramatic happened, other than the student did not like being told no. It was how the ex-student behaved after hearing that no which was quite horrific. Think bad-mouthing and really malicious energetic intent. Someone who would feel glee at the sight of me failing.

The thing is, although I am mentioning it here, I don’t really even think about it anymore. Years have passed, I have become a different person since then, and with the support of a very experienced practitioner I untangled myself from that web of deceit a long time ago.

But who was the deceived and who was the deceiver?

I honestly think I deceived myself into ‘seeing the best in someone’ rather than what was staring me in the face. I’m not saying the ex-student was a horrible person, rather it was a person who felt so unsafe in just being their own self, they were trying to take my place at any cost - including our sisterhood. I never saw that this person wanted to be me. I didn’t really (and still don’t) understand why they would. But after this ex-student cut ties they went to the places I was going and offered the exact same workshops. So I had no choice but to acknowledge it. And I have it on good authority that it continues to this day, even the wording on my ceremony write ups. You know, at this point I expect nothing less really. I mean it is consistent with the behaviour I have been shown so I am not shocked or surprised.

The reason it has come up in my personal reflections is that I am again experiencing this with someone, although in much much smaller way. Though that doesn’t necessarily take the sting out of it. Where my ideas are being presented as their own, and the work that is being run is literally stepping on my work. And again they even used my exact wording. So I am left asking, where is the sisterhood?

What I do know is that I am tired of feeling stepped on so that someone else, who supposedly cares about me, can get a boost.

Because I did not consent.

So are they a copycat and I am too trusting, sharing more than I should without the proper discernment even though at that time I felt close to them?

Or is it inspiration, maybe a Divine Spark that is being followed and I am simply a muse in the moment that ignites it.

As my latest mentor says, when in doubt go and pray. So I prayed about it all this morning, simply as I wanted to find my own peace with it all (as we know other people’s actions have nothing to do with us). And I was shown that there is a healing that is needed for me. That colonisation of my ancestral land has created a distorted energy, where people who are desperate ‘to be something’ can take advantage a little more easily.

Where people who have ancestral history of colonisation subconsciously or consciously think and feel like they have the right to take more than they should from a person of Indian heritage.